Mighty Morh'n Rock-Band Rangers?
by Empress of the Eclipse
Summary: Matt and his band watch TV and Matt realises what we all knew already; his band are insane. And so is he. It's funny!!!!!!!


Mighty Morph'n Rock-Band Rangers?  
By Empress of the Eclipse  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Matt, I don't own the idea of him having a band (but the band is mine, all mine *laughs manically*) I don't own the Power Rangers either.  
  
This fic is dedicated to A Suicidal Frog Called Bob for lending me her soundtrack (the Power Ranger song is actually kinda funky!) and Ashna for loving the band enough for me to bother writing this.  
  
There's some pretty bad language in this *the Empress grabs Akemi and pushes some soap into his mouth. Akemi spits it out sulkily and mutters about how Empress swears worse and NEVER washes her mouth out* with some slight shounen-ai (but not much) and generally stupidity.  
  
I don't care if they don't have the Power Rangers in Japan, they have in this! Okay?  
  
"Istu, will you stop fidgeting?" Matt said irritably "I only agreed to you leaning on me as long as you kept still!"  
"But you keep moving!" Istu protested "And I have to move to stay comfortable!"  
Matt rolled his eyes. Sometimes he realised that he was crazy. This was one of those times. A sleepover at Akemi's house? With the band? Who were, incidentally, all insane?  
"I must be crazy," he said out-loud.  
"Aw no Matt, you're lovely, I could just eat you up!" Istu said.  
"I think Istu is the one who's crazy," Gendo said dryly "Istu, I saw that gesture. Make another one like it and I'll sentence you to having your head shoved in one of Akemi's drums while Akemi plays 'An Ode To A Good Shag' on them."  
There were groans all round. 'An Ode To A Good Shag' was a drum thing that Akemi had written himself. It involved a good deal of banging and all the band hated it. Istu clutched his ears in mock pain.  
"I'm sorry Gendo," he said "I'll be good."  
"Shut up!" Akemi said "It's getting to a good bit!"  
"Akemi, it's porn," Toshiki pointed out "There is no such thing as a 'good bit'. It's all the same, just people screwing."  
"I know," Akemi said brightly "But it's the first time that Hunky Man strips off."  
"He has to have a better name than that," Gendo said "You cannot tell me that he is credited as 'Hunky Man'."  
Akemi shrugged.  
"I don't care about his real name," he said "But he's gonna strip off any minute....WHAT?"  
He gave a horrified shriek as the picture abruptly went into white snowy lines.   
"I think someone's taped over your porn Akemi!" Gendo said looking highly amused.  
"No!" Akemi said "This was my best gay porn! I spent ages carefully taping it while no one was looking! This can't be true!"  
"Maybe it's been taped over with even better porn? With plot!" Toshiki said.  
"You want porn with plot?" Akemi said, giving him a confused stare "Why?"  
Toshiki rolled his eyes.  
"Forget it," he said "I'd rather watch straight porn anyway. I don't like gay porn much."  
"What? You have no taste," Akemi said.  
"Me? You're the one with no taste!" Toshiki said "And I still prefer stories with plot!"  
"Hey, the screen's clearing," Matt said "And it's....."  
They all stared.  
"Power Rangers?" Istu said "Mighty Morph'n Power Rangers?"  
"This cannot be true," Akemi said "Oh, I'm gonna kill Narito. This is all his fault."  
"Narito?" Istu said.  
"Akemi's little brother you dumb-ass!" Matt said "Do you ever listen to anything we say?"  
"No," Istu said.  
"Can we turn this off?" Gendo said "Somehow lots of people leaping around in different coloured suits just doesn't fill me with excitement the way it used to."  
Akemi looked around.  
"Where's the remote control?" he asked.  
"Was that the slim black thing with buttons on it?" Istu asked.  
"Yes," Akemi said.  
"I split Coke on it."  
"Istu, you shithead!" Akemi wailed.  
Everyone laughed. Matt looked boredly at the screen as Akemi struggled to mend it, smacking it firmly with his fist.  
"That won't work you know," Gendo told Akemi.  
"What are they doing?" Matt asked, pointing at the screen.  
"Going to school," Toshiki said.  
"Why?"  
"Okay Matt, the principle of the Power Rangers is that they are basically normal children but everyone now and then...."  
On the screen, one of the Power Rangers watches suddenly made a 'beep-beep, be-beep, beep-beep' noise.  
"....that happens," Toshiki said "And that's Zordon contacting them to go and fight the Putties."  
"Zordon?"  
"The big head thing."  
"Putties?"  
"The grey foot-soldier type dudes."  
"How do you know all this?" Istu asked.  
"I was young once," Toshiki said "Unlike you, we all know that you were found as a thirteen year old sitting on the doorstep with amnesia and you were taken in because they thought you were normal and by the time they realised the truth, it was too late!"  
Everyone laughed again and Istu threw some popcorn at Toshiki. Matt was still watching the screen.  
"Yeah, it's coming back to me now," he said "Who's the little robot dude? I don't remember."  
"Alpha you dickhead!" Akemi said rolling his eyes. He mimicked the robots little cry "Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye!"  
Matt snorted.  
"Yeah Akemi, that's a real good impression," he said.  
For a while they just sat there watching the Power Rangers as nobody could be bothered to control the TV manually.  
"Why do they keep making those stupid noises when they fight?" Istu asked eventually "Nobody makes those noises when they really fight."  
"How many people have you seen really fight?" Akemi said.  
"No one," Istu said "But it's common sense."  
"True," Gendo said "What I don't understand is why Putties? Couldn't they think of a better name for the foot-solider guys than Putties?"  
"What like Playdoughies?" Matt suggested.  
"Anymore dumb jokes like that and I'll shove these marshmallows right down your neck," Gendo said. "You opened the marshmallows?" Toshiki spluttered "Those were mine!"  
"You eat too much sweet stuff," Gendo told him calmly "You'll get fat and spotty. But I'm kind and generous. I don't mind suffering for your sake."  
Toshiki used a few choice words to describe Gendo's generosity.  
"What's he doing?" Matt asked "Why's he late?"  
"Oh, he's the Green Ranger," Akemi said "He was originally evil but they cured him and he's on their side now."  
"I'd have thought the Black Ranger would have been originally evil," Matt said.  
"Nope. Green. He becomes the White Ranger eventually. Don't know why," Akemi said.  
"I thought it was the Red Ranger who went evil?" Gendo said.  
Everyone turned and looked at him.  
"Excuse me?" Akemi said.  
Gendo shrugged.  
"Well I used to watch it sometimes," he said "And there was this episode where they captured one of the Power Rangers - I think it was red - and they brainwashed him or something to make him think that the other Power Rangers were evil and tried to kill them. But it was a two-parter and I only saw the first part so I never found out what happened."  
"And you remember THAT?" Toshiki said "And you can look scornfully at us?"  
"I didn't look scornful!" Gendo protested "Anyway, I saw the first part of that episode twice and I still missed the second part! Twice!"  
Everyone laughed. Gendo looked huffy.  
"It's not funny!" he said "I was really into that episode!"  
"I think you're right," Akemi said "But I don't remember what happened."  
"He became good again. Obviously," Matt said.  
Gendo grabbed him and jammed marshmallows down his shirt. Matt yelped and squirmed indignantly. Istu cheerfully stuck his hand down Matt's shirt and pulled them out, 'accidentally' running his hands all over Matt's rear end as he did.  
"Istu, you are such a pervert," Matt said.  
Istu shrugged and started eating the marshmallows.  
"And you're gross! EW!" Matt said.  
"What?" Istu said.  
Matt shook his head.  
"I'm crazy," he repeated.  
The episode ended and another one began almost immediately.  
"Narito must have recorded loads of them on this," Akemi said with a sigh "Little moron. I'll kill him."  
"The theme tune's pretty catchy though," Matt said "Go, go Power Rangers....that's gonna go though my head for a while."  
"Poor you," Gendo said.  
"Oh, I remember this episode!" Toshiki happily "This is the one with Lord Zedd! He's cool!"  
Noticing the looks he was getting, he blushed.  
"Well, he was cool when I was little," he mumbled.  
Matt shrugged and curled up comfortably, resting his head on the bed. Istu promptly snuggled up closer, still watching the Power Rangers.  
"Istu, do you have to snuggle up like that?" Matt asked.  
"Aw, come on, you like it really," Istu said.  
"No, I don't," Matt said.  
"Aw, you know you really love me," Istu said.  
"Dream on," Matt said.  
"Ohhhh, Lord Zedd!" Toshiki said happily, interrupting Matt and Istu and pointing at the screen.  
"Who's Lord Zedd?" Akemi asked wearily.  
"The bad guy!" everyone shouted.  
"Ooh, no need to get your knickers in a twist!" Akemi said huffily.  
"Why's he putting that woman in the garbage can?" Matt asked.  
"Oh Matt aren't you listening?" Toshiki said sounding patient "She's Rita Repulsa right, and she's not managed to defeat the Power Rangers. So Lord Zedd's put her in there to punish her and get rid of her. See?"  
"No," Matt said.  
Everyone kept watching.  
"I love those watches," Matt said "I wish mine could make those cool noises."  
"Dream on Matt," Gendo said.  
"Imagine if one went on in an exam?" Toshiki said "There you are, in absolute silence and then 'beep, beep be-beep beep, beep!' You'd be slaughtered!"  
"Yeah," Akemi agreed "And you'd just be going 'Zordon, shut the hell up! The world can fucking wait until I've finished my Maths!'"  
Everyone laughed. They kept watching, rubbishing the Power Rangers skills of fighting.  
"I'm telling you, they shouldn't be making those dumb noises!" Istu said "They sound like sound effects of one of Akemi's porn movies!"  
Akemi kicked him and got Matt instead. Matt swore.  
"Akemi you little whore! That hurt!"  
Akemi snorted.  
"I'm so, sooooooooo sorry," he said.  
"I like Zordon," Gendo said "Zordon is cool."  
"He's a big head," Istu said "How can you be cool when you are just a big head? And WHY is he just a big head?"  
Everyone ignored this completely stupid, obvious question (partly because none of them had any idea).  
"Ohhhhh, they're morphing!" Akemi said "Morph!"  
"So if you guys were Power Rangers, what colour would you chose to be?" Gendo asked "I'd be amber."  
"Orange!" Matt said promptly.  
"Burnt Orange!" Istu said.  
"Purple and Pink Polka Dots!" Akemi said.  
"Fluorescent Green!" Toshiki said.  
Everyone laughed.  
"What would Purple and Pink Polka dots get its power from?" Gendo wondered.  
"The Purple and Pink Polka dotted dinosaur," Akemi said solemnly.  
"The what?" Matt said amusedly.  
"It's a very rare species," Akemi said "Few people have heard of it but it's deadlier than a T-rex and faster than a cheetah and more cunning than a fox. And purple and pink polka dotted."  
"You," Matt said affectionately "Are completely and utterly off your head."  
"Thanks!" Akemi said "But I haven't taken any drugs tonight!"  
"Shut up," Gendo said.  
"I could fight better than then anyway," Istu said, still watching the screen.  
Matt snorted. Pushing Istu off him, he sprang up and began mimicking the Power Rangers fighting techniques. Everyone laughed and Istu joined in.  
"I'm a Power Ranger!" he yelled.  
"Hey, wait for the next episode and we'll all do it!" Toshiki said "I've got baggsies on being the Black Ranger!"  
"I'm the Red Ranger!" Gendo yelled.  
"I'm the Blue Ranger!" Matt shouted.  
"I'm the Green Ranger!" Istu called.  
"You can't be the Green Ranger, there's only five of us," Gendo said "You've got to be one of the originals."  
"I'm Yellow, I'm Yellow!" Akemi yelled.  
"Aw man," Istu grumbled "That's unfair! I don't want to be pink!"  
"What's so good about being yellow?" Matt asked.  
"Well she's supposed to be 'The one with lightning hands and a peaceful soul'," Akemi explained "And that's better than being the popular high school slut."  
Matt snorted. Istu scowled sulkily.  
"I don't want to be pink!" he said again.  
"Well at least you aren't a Mastodon!" Matt said comfortingly "What is a Mastodon anyway?"  
"A dinosaur," Toshiki said "Stop rubbishing my dinosaur, Triceratops."  
"Triceratops is better than Mastodon," Matt said "Everyone has heard of the Triceratops."  
Toshiki stuck his tongue out at Matt, who just grinned back.  
They waited until the next episodes morphing, then all leapt up cheerfully.  
"It's morphin' time!" Gendo yelled.  
"Mastodon!" Toshiki shouted.  
"Pterodactyl!" Istu said, slightly sulkily but still sounding in the spirit of things.  
"Triceratops!" Matt said.  
"Sabre-Tooth Tiger!" Akemi yelled.  
"Tyrannosaurus!" Gendo called.  
They began bouncing round the room, kicking and punching pillows and cushions cheerfully.  
"Um....what are you doing?" a voice inquired. It was Narito, Akemi's brother.  
"Playing Power Rangers," Akemi told him.  
"Ohhhhhh-kay," Narito said after a moment "Who's the bad guys?"  
"Lots of shifty looking pillows round here," Akemi said "Now piss off, we're busy."  
Narito scratched his head.  
"Why does everyone at school reckon you lot are so cool?" he mumbled, walking out of the room.  
Matt laughed and threw Akemi's pillow up, then drop-kicked it, sending it flying out of the window.  
"Oops," he said.  
"Matt you bell-end!" Akemi said.  
Matt shrugged and sat down, sitting on his own pillow before Akemi could steal it (which was the normal retaliation in such cases.)  
"Congratulations Power Rangers," Zordon said from the TV screen "Victory is yours. You have gone far beyond the call of duty and saved your world from a terrible fate. The world is very lucky to have you - and so am I."  
"Far beyond the call of duty?" Matt repeated in disgust "Excuse me? That is their duty - to save the world from terrible fates! How can they go beyond it?"  
"I think he's gay," Akemi said.  
"Oh Christ Akemi!" Gendo said "How can a big head be gay?"  
"How can you be so prejudiced against big heads?" Akemi said, pretending to cry "They have feelings too you know!"  
"That proves it," Matt said "You are all insane!"  
"So? You joined in, Blue Ranger!" Toshiki said "You're just as weird as us!"  
"Why does he always say 'May the Power protect you'?" Istu asked.  
"Who? Oh Zordon? Because they are Power Rangers?" Akemi suggested.  
"Well it's dumb," Istu said.  
"And so are you but who's complaining?" Matt said.  
Istu kicked him.  
"Ohhh, the Pink Ranger takes on the Blue Ranger!" Akemi yelled gleefully "Now that would make a great episode!"  
He frowned.  
"Didn't those two go evil once? I'm pretty sure the Pink one did anyway and another went evil with her....I think. Could have been the Blue...."  
"SHUT UP AKEMI!" everyone yelled.  
Akemi sniffed haughtily and started munching on the remains of the marshmallows, keeping an eye on Toshiki who still hadn't had any. Toshiki didn't notice.  
"Go, go Power Rangers," Matt mumbled.  
"Are you still singing that?" Istu asked.  
Matt nodded.  
"It's funky," he said.  
"Oh Matt," Gendo said "You are a sad, strange little person."  
Matt scowled indignantly and muttered something about bossy Red Rangers.  
"You lot are all nuts," Toshiki said.  
"I agree," Akemi said, balling up the empty marshmallow bag and lobbing it in the bin.  
"Was that....you ate the last marshmallows!" Toshiki screamed. He threw himself as Akemi and the two of them rolled around, wrestling.  
"Ohhhh, orgy!" Istu cheered.  
Matt whacked him with a pillow. The pillow, already badly beaten up by 'the Red Ranger', exploded into a cloud of feathers which scattered everywhere.  
"Okay, that's two dead pillows today," Gendo remarked.  
At that moment, the TV turned off.  
"Oh!" Toshiki said "I rolled on the remote!"  
"So what was the remote that I split Coke on?" Istu said.  
"My CD player!" Akemi wailed "Nooooo!"  
Everyone cracked up laughing again as Akemi bemoaned his CD player remote. Matt ejected the tape from Akemi's machine and looked at it.  
"Akemi," he said "You know why this has Power Rangers on it?"  
"Because Narito was a little shithead and taped it on it!" Akemi said.  
"No," Matt said "Because it says 'Power Rangers' on the tape you doofus!"   
Akemi looked at it.  
"That was its cunning disguise so no one thought it was gay porn," he said.   
"I think it worked a little too well then didn't it?" Gendo said.  
Akemi sighed and folded his arms sulkily as everyone started laughing again.  
  
The End.  
  
  
  



End file.
